Sunday, 12 April 2009

Happy Easter

Wishing you all a very happy Easter time. 'Lang may yer eggs roll' lmao

A wee Easter poem for ya's all -

Funny Bunny

Little Easter, the comedienne bunny,
Tried too hard at being funny.
She juggled and she dropped the eggs
They fell and smashed between her legs.

Poor Easter left the stage in shame
And thought that she might change her name.
But then that bunny read this ad,
"This Sunday we need help real bad."

So Easter Bunny kept her name
And through the years has gained much fame,
When Easter's Sunday comes each year.
She delivers eggs and we all cheer.

(Grandpa Tucker)

Marmy ... hope this answers your question - nice tartan wrapped eggs lmfao

Tuesday, 7 April 2009

Stolen blog posting

I am yet again bowing to the blogging prowess of that guru of all things blog - newplanet!

I had such a good laugh at his urban dictionary post that I thought I would give it a go. I had 7 pages of entries for my name so I am not going to post them all here.

All I did was post my name in an urban dictionary search and here are a few of the entries it came up with. (some of the 'contributors' are obviously obsessed by the size of their manhood lol)

here we go ....

1. James

Someone who is un usually well hung. People with the name James are generally known for their good looks (especially the eyes) and women are just simply attracted to them.
"Oh Yeah, he's definately a James"

2. James

A name for someone who is absolutely fantastic and is your favourite.
"That James is by far my favourite, no matter what!"

3. James

In early European lore the demigod James was said to possess unrivaled charm and seductive prowess in addition to having genitalia of supernatural size. Throughout medieval times and up until the late Renaissance, Pagan and Christian farmers routinely prayed to James as a god of fertility, believing that his massive penis would inspire them to spectacular heights of fertility. Today, the term James still carries with it subtexts of truly gigantic genitals which is perhaps why James is the name most frequently given to male newborns in the United States.
Currently the word James can be used to mean an enormous penis and anyone with that name can be assumed to possess a heavy and girthy penis.
"Man, check out that James!"

"Look at the buldge in his trousers, he MUST have a James in there girlfriend!"

"I don't think I could ever fit a James in my mouth."

4. James

The best guy in the world. He is the most amazing, perfect, handsome, charming, lovable, and cuddliest man on the planet. He is very sweet and will brighten up your day just by smiling. he has very bright and beautiful hazel eyes and kinda darkish brown hair. Hes very funny and he likes to laugh a lot.
oh... my gosh... did u just see that really cute guy?

"Yup, he looks like a James."

5. James

An absolutely perfect organism that is an inspiration to all other life on earth. He combines good looks and clear thinking, in the end resulting in an amazing Philosopher-like Demigod of unbeknownst power. No Women can resist a James, except those whose names begin with a N. Those women exist to attempt to destroy such James' in a ritual known as dating.
"(Calling Role)
Teacher: James?
James: Yes?
Teacher: Oh I just wanted to beg forgiveness for profaning your perfect name with my unworthy tongue.
James: You are forgiven, oh imperfect one."

The above postings were obviously chosen at random hahahahaha

Monday, 6 April 2009

Witty pilots

Actual exchanges between pilots and control towers

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"


Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"


From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was bored, not stupid!"


O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this...I've got the little Fokker in sight."


A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."


A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted
: "American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."


A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich , overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German)
: " Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany . Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"


Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way,after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
BR Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified our caterers."


One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."


The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206
: " Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land."

Sunday, 5 April 2009

Sun, Sea, Sand and S......

My thoughts are turning to Summer time and holidays. My problem is that I can't decide where in this vast world to go. It's not just me to consider however, 3 of my friends are also coming along.

I want to go back to Barbados. I love the Caribbean and especially the island of Barbados. Lots of white, fine sand and palm tree lined beaches, rum punch and great, laid back hospitality.

Maybe a trip back to Egypt. I adore this country and it's amazing, mystical history. The sphynx and pyramids were awe inspiring and to get inside the pyramids was breathtaking.

I have always wanted to go on a cruise. Huge, luxury cruise ship making it's way through the oceans and seas of the world, docking in some of the most exotic ports around the world.

Safari has also been one of my all time holiday greats. Getting out into the Kenyan plains and trying to spot the big 5 in their natural environment.

I have a friend who has her own diving school in northern cyprus and the thought of diving in the clear turquoise seas and spotting turtles swimming by is very tempting.

A holiday on a barge is also a hot favourite. Barging through the canals, stopping at the canal side pubs .... hmmmmm lovely!

The bright lights and attractions of London are also an option. Take in all the tourist sights, a musical or two and enjoy the big city.

Canada. I love this country. I have always wanted to tour from one coast of this amazing country to the other in a winnebago - going wherever we want and stopping whenever we needed.

I just have too many options. I started to discuss these with 2 of the friends who will be coming along and one of them suggested this .......

Oh dear, what am I to do? lol