Saturday, 28 July 2007

Fringe Festival

I love the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and have been heading down to the Capital every summer for the past .. erm ... dunno how many years ... but a few!

The city is heaving with tourists and folks heading out to the pubs, street bars, theatres and clubs to see many of the varied, funny, sad, weird and wacky shows that the world brings to Edinburgh!

Last year we were off on the train to see a couple of shows one evening. My 'posh' matie was in charge of the carry-ouy for the train (as is customary when we go anywhere on the train these days). She took out 3 bottles of champers with straws, one bottle and one straw for each of us, a few packets of munchies and kept a wee surprise in the clinking bag for afters! (Not really much of a surprise as she has been getting the same carry-out for most of our wee trips out LOL)

Well, there we were sitting in the train opposite some workers heading home with their "Costa" coffee [other brands available lol] and there were the three of us popping champage corks up the carriage.

Bollinger through a straw was a new experience for me LMFAO ... and eating pringles at the same time too hahaha. Five stops down the line the bottles were coming close to empty and the surprise came out of the bag ...... Pimms!!! Oh I love a Pimms in the summer and this was no exception! We polished off a bottle of Bolly each and a bottle of Pimms between the three of us and as the train edged into Waverley Station, we stumbled off ... rather merry!

The shows we were off to see were fantastic and a great laugh, tears rolling down our faces and much of the hilarity was probably due to the loosening of our tongues .... alcohol tends to do this to me. The carry-out was topped up with a couple of voddys at the restaurant (sensible things we were to eat!) a couple of doubles at the show to ease things along and 4 doubles on the way back to the train (visiting a couple of pubs to sample their hospitality)

Here's hoping that we can see a number of the fantastic comedy shows again this year but I could do WITHOUT the hangover from hell the next morning!

awwwww .. I want to live in the city!!!!! :-(

Thursday, 26 July 2007

Flirt .... me ..... never!

I will paint a scene .... sitting with 2 mates in a fancy restaurant (not McD's!!! pmsl) and happily chomping through the meal ... absolutely gorgeous. Waitress comes over and asks the usual stuff ...."everything ok with your meal?" etc etc ... always at the time when I have a mouthful of food in my gob.

She was a really nice lass and was chatting to me and my mate. My female friend then started taking the piss outta me and saying that she hadn't really seen me in serious flirt mode before ... but I was apparently going all guns blazing for this lass!

Erm ... I do not flirt! ... although she was lovely and we were chatting when she was passing our table ... but not flirting. She did chat to us more then most other tables but I just thought she was being attentive to our needs!

Well ... I got a bit defensive at this comment as my other mate and I were both chatting ... but apparently he was being polite and I was being suggestive .... my eyes talk apparently!

Well ..... not sure if we (these particular maties and I) will go back there again .... I couldn't cope with the accusations LOL

I did leave her a nice tip though! Hahahaha

Sunday, 22 July 2007

Feeling kinda grumpy, kinda down in the dumpy!

Why? Why can things never go smoothly when it comes to my life? - oops, a little over dramatic there LOL

Back in the distant past, well okay ... a few months ago, my dad went through a pretty horrific time and was in hospital for a number of weeks and for a wee time, on a ventillator in intensive care, things were touch and go!

He's been out of the hospital for a good few weeks now and is recovering at home from his ops with the help of family, friends and the district nurses - all of whom have been angels xxx.

He has been building his strength back up for the final operation to reverse a stoma op and fix a tear in his small intestine - he's had an open wound and drains since leaving the hospital ... these have caused him some discomfort and a lot of hassle.

On Friday he and my mum drove to the hospital to speak to his surgeon about the final stage of the operation and were smacked in the face with some really bad news! Unknown to my dad (the docs hadn't told him) he has an aneurysm close to his heart that must be operated on before it perforates and kills him! No operation to reverse the stoma op he had can be done before the aneurysm is treated.

I was not reallly clued up on what an aneurysm actually was but the phrase "...perforates and kills him ..." kind of made me think it is serious. I had to find out more so have, probably very stupidly, gone to the internet in search of information.

An aneurysm is the swelling of an artery wall, a bit like a balloon. If it continues to grow it obviously becomes more unstable and can rupture, causing the unthinkable or start to press againt internal organs or the spine. I stopped reading the information on the NHS site as I got to .. "the risk of death from surgery is sometimes greater than the risk of the aneurysm itself."

I don't mind admitting on here, as I know my family don't read this, I am fucking petrified! He has a CAT scan to determine the size of the aneurysm in the next couple of weeks. Usually under a certain size it is not operated upon, but due to the need for surgery i.e. dad having a gaping open wound needing repaired, not operating is not really an option!

After his last stint of time in the hospital I had a check up at the docs and had the all clear from anything un-toward, but I think the doc and I are about to get re-acquainted pretty soon. I hate the docs and don't ever go unless I really have to. I think on this occasion I may need to have another more thorough check-up. Although in saying that I have had a niggling and annoying "thing" wrong with me for years and it needs surgery, but I haven't spoken to my doc a) because I hate the docs and hospitals, b) beacuse I am not having someone putting me to sleep - that is VERY unnatural and c) male pride and embarrassment.

The last time I was in a hospital (6 years ago when I couldn't eat and lost a stone in weight in a week ... about 7kg - as I only weigh 10 stone, that was a bit drastic. Even the smell of food made me run for the bathroom) I had to have an endoscopy (camera down my throat into my stomach and duodenum and a few biopsies - thankfully nothing but stress was the cause of my symptoms) I was so bothered about needles in the back of my hand and being put to sleep that I refused any anaesthetic and had it done in surgery with none - not really an experience I want to go through again ... but I wasn't trusting my sleep and re-awakening to someone else! - an irrational fear I know, but a fear none-the-less!!! Thankfully my surgeon at the time was willing to do this and he was fantastic .... the discomfort was minimal.

Here's hoping that all goes well for my 'old man' and that everything is a success and I better make an appointment to speak to my own doc! Oh the joy! And a wee tip ... don't use the internet to look up medical information unless you are really prepared for all the uncensored gory facts!!!

Thursday, 19 July 2007

Have a laugh!

I was reading an email from a buddy with a warped sense of humour ... bit like my own hahaha ... David ... this is your 3rd mention on t'internet!!!

The first was a great wee poem ....

As I mature ....
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you,
All you can do is stalk them, and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just arseholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build trust,
and only takes suspicion, not proof to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about 15 minutes,
After that you better have a big willy or huge boobs!

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others,
the are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomitting,
long after you think you have finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do
Unless we are 'celebrities'.

I've learned that no matter how hot and steamy a relationship at first,
The passion fades and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!

I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in the house,
one of your kids did it.

I've learned that the people you care about most in life,
are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away!

Ladies ... have a look at this one :o) PMSL

...... and have a think about this!

Lads ... be careful next time and keep this in mind .......

... and don't you just hate a show off!! PMSL

and the last one .......

Order of the Phoenix

I admit to being a bit of a Harry Potter geek! When the first installment of the series was published my class of 8 yr olds asked me to read it to them. I was hooked as were the class. Ever since, each class has had to endure the story telling of the latest adventures of the boy wizard - not sure if it was they or I who had enjoyed it the most.

On Sunday I joined 2 friends and we took ourselves and our pre-booked luxury seat tickets (sad I know) to the cinema in Perth to see the latest film, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

This is certainly the darkest of the films yet. Harry is being bothered by haunting visions and flash backs to his last encounter with the Dark Lord Voldermort (I ain't sacred to say his name ... he who must not be named ... huh!!! lol) The Ministry do not believe Harry or the Headmaster of Hogwarts, Dumbledore.

They send a new teacher of the Dark Arts to the school who teaches them nothing about defending themselves. Imelda Staunton plays the character of Dolores Umbridge perfectly! The fluffy (or not so fluffy) pink character takes control of Hogwarts from Dumbledore and starts her campaign of oppression.

With the lack of any real teaching of defence, Harry and the gang start "Dumbledore's Army" and decide to teach themselves how to defend against the feared Voldermort.

I won't go into any more of the details of this exciting episode ... but I would advise a viewing! In my opinion, the best of the films so far. Check out this to see trailers etc.

Midnight on Saturday, and I may have to roll into the nearest Waterstones ... or Asda if I want to save a few pennies to get the final book in the series, The Deathly Hallows". With Dumbldore now dead, what is going to happen to Harry? Is Snape really the bad guy? Will Draco Malfoy succeed in his task set by Voldermort? Is Harry going to survive? Who is going to be killed? ..... so many questions!

Well, I have been asked to go back to the cinema to see ... yes ... Harry Potter ... and could I say no ... not likely. Seats are book again, and Ciara ... you were right, that last hotdog didn't keep me quiet for too long! hahaha

Saturday, 14 July 2007

the twist .... mwah ha ha ha

Last week on Big Brother 8 (UK) we had "fake week". Was all a bit cr*p until the 'fake' eviction.

Now for those not watching, Charley is one housemate who you will either love or hate with a passion. I am one of the former and really like her! Her housemates put her up for eviction not knowing about 'fake' week.

It came to last night and the gorgeous Davina (phwaaar) evicted Charley. The normal shouts, cheers and booooo's were not to be heard and Charley came out to silence. She was taken to the studio and interviewed. She was shown the nominations and what her housematies had said about her. Unknown to her at the time they were watching all of this on the plasma screen in the BB house.

Davina got her to talk about her housemates, who she liked, who she didn't, who should win etc etc .. and then dropped the news that as it was 'fake week', Charley was to re-enter the BB house!

The faces of her two arch enemies - Chanelle and Ziggy - was a picture ... they could not believe Charley was coming back.

Charley has used her 'eviction' to her advantage and played it for all it's worth. Long live Charley in the BB house .....

Monday, 9 July 2007

Name and Shame!

After a lovely day with friends in Aberdeen we headed out to Cadonas beach amusement park for a laugh .. I have been known to enjoy a wee rollercoaster or two! After pottering about we headed for the afore mentioned 'eatery'.

I was NOT impressed! After waiting ages for a member of waiting staff to come to our table, we didn't like to interrupt the conversation that 5 members were having ... yes FIVE staff having a chat and diners waiting to be served .. I could feel the blood starting to simmer LOL

Once served we witnessed other tables, like ours, who had decided to leave after waiting for over 10 minutes for some attention.

There were 9 members of staff having a laugh and chat in the bar area of the restaurant completely ignoring the customers and the constant ringing of the phone. The blood was now boiling and not simmering .... instead of waiting for the food I walked up to the bar, asked if anyone was working, and politely asked for the bill for the drinks we had had whilst waiting!

We left and advised the 2 families waiting that they would be better at another place if they wanted to eat Sunday dinner and not Monday breakfast!

with that little rant out of the way ... I can now enjoy reading my daily list of blogs and finish munching on my jelly babies.

Did you know that the Jelly Babies all have names? strawberry's name is 'Brilliant', lemon's is 'Bubbles', lime is called 'Boofuls', blackcurrant is 'Big Heart, orange's name is 'Bumper' and raspberry is called 'Baby Bonny'. Awwwwww

Saturday, 7 July 2007

Saturday afternoon at the flicks

Shrek the Third ... if you want an hour and a bit of laughs (well laughs if you share my sense of humour) Shrek is the very thing LOL

Shrek and Princess Fiona save the day yet again in Far Far Away! It come sunder threat from Prince Charming again. I love the humour. Managed to cheer me up on a dull, boring Saturday afternoon.

The "ladies" are fab!

Bit of another 'lame' post .... but I am having an off day! .. "again" I hear you cry! PMSL

Friday, 6 July 2007

Pucker Up .....

National Kissing Day! Oh what an excuse LMFAO!!!!!

I was reading about National Kissing Day and some of the stuff was pretty embarrassing for us Brits. We are not kissing enough! Apparently, in a recent survey, 95% of women believe they are not getting enough smooch time.

The good news apparently is that Brits do score highly on quality if not on quantity. In the same survey we Brits scored highest with 42% of the replies stating that we are the best kissers. The Italians came second with a mere 15% ha ha ha ... Casanova eat your heart out! PMSL

Our German neighbours top the worst kissing list with 38% of the votes.

Kissing "etiquette" states that - bad breath, slobbering and smoking are the top 3 put offs. Johnny Depp tops the list of blokes for the most sought after snog and Angelina Jolie tops the women!

On doing a wee bit of research I was shocked to find "kissing schools" to help kissing technique LOL ... this comes from the 'Kissing Tip of the Day" from one such site ....

popsicle kiss

Eat popsicles together - each a different flavor - and then halfway through, switch and finish off each other's popsicle. Afterwards, give your love a long, passionate kiss. Your cold tongue will wake them up!! :)

***note to self - must give that a try!

SO anyhoo .... I now have an excuse for the rest of the night .... hahaha .. Firstly it is National Kissing Day and secondly we Brits just ain't at it enough!

so .... pucker up ... MMMMMMMWAH

Thursday, 5 July 2007

Are you addicted to blogging?

As blogging is a fairly new concept to me personally - I was inspired after reading newplanets blog ... I did this quiz thinking I was going to be about 30 - 40% ...

62%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

perhaps I need a new hobby?

The Bank Manager

My mobile started ringing and vibrating this morning ... anon call on the screen. Now usually I won't answer and anon call ... can't stand mobile insurance calls etc, but this morning I did.

"Hello this is your favourite branch bank manager calling...." was the reply after my curious "hello". Who has their bank manager calling their mobiles at 11am in the morning with a welcome like that?

I love my bank manager .... there is a reason for that but I will wait with the details for the moment hahaha. She started the call with "... do you realise that your credit card blah blah blah.."

Turns out that I have a rather large one (ooer missus) balance that is! I haven't used the card for many a month / year ... infact I had, believe it or not, forgotten about it. There was a monthy balance being made to the c/card company from my current account and I just forgot all about it I suppose!

Well she wants me to come to a meeting and review my accounts. Oh what joy! She knows that I hate the review process and I have managed to fend off such requests for the last 3 years ha ha ha. Well I suppose it's time to bite the bullet and head off to the bank. There was a nice part to all of this ... I was asked what my favourite choccy biscuits were sso that we could enjoy a coffee and biscuit whilst going over my finances.

Don't get me wrong - my bank have looked after me well over the years of banking with them and the wine and mince pies at Christmas are great! I bet you are all wondering what bank I do business with eh! hahaha. Thankfully my bank manager aint nothing like this wee cartoon I saw on't t'internet ...

After making my appointment at 1.30pm next week she ended the call with, "perhaps you could come through at 12.30pm and take me to lunch first?" .. hahaha ... I laughed and replied that I knew there had been an ulterior motive and she's abviously noticed my healthy balance! LOL I am looking forward to my bank account review this time lol.

I also realised that the morgage rates are probably going to rise again this week! I have just finished a fixed rate deal and have moved to variable rate ..... and I don't like the look of the growing interest rates! I have another appointment to see if my bank can beat the rate I am on and give me a good fixed rate deal. One good thing I read on my mortgage papers was the increase in value of my flat. In the past 5 years it has gone up in value by over £40k .... I may just sell after doing the decorating and make a nice tidy profit :o) ... who wouldn't like a view like this?????

anyway .. enough for now ... I need a nap :o) hahaha .. the holidays do strange things to my body clock!

PS - my auntie is my bank manager xxx

Wednesday, 4 July 2007

Happy 4th of July

Happy Independence Day to our American cousins x

Sunday, 1 July 2007

...and they all said I was a flithy git!

How wrong were they! hahaha .. perhaps when I am out and in company I tend to be a little risque ... PMSL ... but this proves it ... I am a clean kinda guy :o) ... enjoy xxx


I sat in shock watching the terrible terror attack on Glasgow Airport unfold yesterday. I felt a false sense of security up here in Scotland, well away from the power base of the UK and all previous terror attacks. How wrong was that!

This is the first terror attack in Scotland. Even through all of the troubles in Northern Ireland, when Britain was under threat of attacks, Scotland was never touched. I am actually struggling to come to terms with some insane fundamentalists targetting a busy airport, in summer, on the first weekend of the school holidays when families are heading to sunnier climates.

Two men drove a large 4x4 vehicle into the main terminal building just after 3pm yesterday (Saturday 30th June 2007). I have been to Glasgow airport many times and how they managed to pull this off, I have no idea! Thankfully the vehicle never got into the building and both occupants of the 4x4 were arrested by police. I dread to think what would have happened if a 4x4 truck laden with petrol and gas canisters was to have entered the terminal.

Thankfully no one was injured, apart from one of the occupants of the 4x4. You can read more about the detailed facts here.

Terror has come to Scotland! I could get all political now but I shan't - I'll keep my thoughts to myself for the moment. BUT .... (I knew I couldn't keep quiet for long) it does reek of hypocrisy that our former Prime Minister, who took us into an illegal war in Iraq, has the audacity to become our Middle East PEACE envoy!!! Are his actions coming back to haunt us all? Is the fact that another Scottish man is now Prime Minister? (Tony Blair was born in Edinburgh) Is it time we left Iraq and stopped trying to impose our democracy onto others? All I do know for certain is that I don't want to be constantly looking and wondering .. 'is that suspicious?' ... 'should I report that?' ...