Calvaliers and Roundheads

*** WARNING *** ADULT CONTENT *** WARNING ***

Well I said I would post about the "wee op" and here goes ...

From the heading some will be able to guess that the "wee op" was infact me allowing the surgeon to take a scalpel to my 'bits' and circumcise me. OUCH!



After plucking up the courage, after a LONG time, I decided that a problem that I had (phimosis) needed fixing and I wasn't going to put it off any longer. I did a lot of research on the internet and ploughed through all the rubbish from the "Pro Foreskin Lobby" - (jeez they are a fanatical bunch of weirdos)



and decided that I was going private for the op rather than having it done on the NHS. Other options for differnt solutions were not an option.



Why private? Well, until I started to research this problem I wasn't aware of the number of different "styles" of cut I can actually have. Now don't laugh!!! Sounds like going to the hairdressers - "What style would Sir like?" hahaha. NHS is a one style fits all.

I HATE hospitals and have a real, genuine fear of general anaesthetic so I searched out the best specialist surgeon I could and took the plunge to email and book a consultation. Within 20 minutes of sending an enquiry to the surgery I was emailed back by the Practice Manager and had my surgery booked for 1 week later and flights to London booked also. This is when I started to panic a little as things were moving VERY quickly ... possibly a little too quickly for my liking but with BA flights to London City Airport booked and paid for and the surgery and consultation paid for ... there was no pulling out now.

I didn't tell anyone what I was doing or anything about the surgery until 2 days before I was flying to get the chop. Even after letting family know that I was going into hospital for a bit of surgery, I still wasn't letting on what I was actually having done. My Mum was not happy that I was having surgery and I wasn't telling her or my Dad what I was having done. BUT .... this kind of op isn't the kind of conversation a mother, father and son should be having over the Sunday dinner table lol.

I flew done with no hassles at all ... and a lovely lunch on the plane courtesy of BA. I arrived in London at 13.05 and had the surgeons consultation at 13.25. Thankfully no time at all for worrying or talking myself out of the procedure.

I took a cab to the surgery and was met a reception by the theatre nurse and the practice manager. e sat down for a brief chat and to sign the papers etc before I was taken straight through to see Dr Z, the man who I was going to allow to become very intimate with me lmao.

I had a 30 minute consultation going through all the procedure from start to finish, the aftercare and the possible PROBLEMS!!!! It was then that I had to jump on the consulting table and get my trousers round my ankles for an examination. The EVIL NASTY PPAIN INDUCING BAST*RD only wanted to do something to me that was going to make me hit the roof with pain. "Can you suffer some pain for a short time for me to allow you to see what you will look like after surgery?" NO YOU FU*KING CANNOT. He did laugh and took it in good spirits. He decided it was probably best not to until I was 'frozen up'.

He took me through to the theatre room and I met the theatre nurse again. I was stripped to the waist and laid upon the bed, smothered in freezing cold iodine (as if I wasn't small enough with fear of getting the chop hahaha). It was then that the pain started to become real. 6 injections into my manhood OUCH OUCH OUCH. That was SOOOOOOOO painful and not something I ever wish to feel again lol. Dr Z then did what he wanted to do with no anaesthetic ... and then wanted me to look ... BLOOD! BLOOD everywhere. How the hell he expected me to go through THAT with no anaesthetic I don't know.



He got down to work and encouraged me to watch what was going on. I declined the offer ;o) Out of the corner of my eye I start to notice smoke coming from where he's working. The smell of burning flesh .... I can't go to a BBQ without having flashbacks lol. He was using something like a bleddy soldering iron to seal blood vessels.

The op was over quite quickly and he was sewing me up when I started to feel the needle. The last 5 or 6 stitches were a bit uncomfortable but I was being wrapped in pressure bandages and sent to a recovery room to drink lots of water.

Everything was fine, no pain and I was discharged. Off to the airport and flight back home.

The pain hit when I got home. I could not get any sleep for hours and managed to drift off for about an hour or so. I woke to find myself soaked in blood. PANIC !! I was NOT expecting to wake finding myself and the bedclothes covered in blood. Not just spots of the red stuff .... I was saturated. The pain was tear inducing and I decided this was not what should be happening and called Dr Z. He was fantastic and gave me instructions, advice and put my mind at rest.

I had to call for help from my folks. I could hardly walk hahaha John Wayne walking was my speciality lmao. I obviously explained to the folks what I had been through and within the hour I was being driven to the folks house to be looked after. It is VERY strange to be looked after when you are 34 and especially when I left home at 18 yrs old and being a very independent person ... this was quite difficult for me.

I wasn't allowed to shower or bath for a week - OMG - I love hot showers every day and this was a bit alien hahaha. After a week I was allowed to have a warm salt water bath and I had to CAREFULLY remove the pressure bandgae. Well .... the sight was a shock! My Gran had a new shoulder operation and her wound had 12 stitches. Now I am not bragging or anything .... BUT ... my "wee op" had 30 stitches. The sight of a mans prized posession covered in dried blood and swollen (not in a nice way) and looking like a crochet project gone wrong ... was not a good sight. The bath on the other hand was LOVELY! I had to take 2 of these warm salt baths a day.

Still in huge amounts of pain though and still walking like John Wayne. I was doing some more research on the internet when I came across a mens health site with an adult circumcision help forum. Thank God there were others who were sharing experiences and tips for faster recovery. I made a few really good mates on there and continue to chat to them.

The surgeon told me I would have 2 weeks off my work (I was on holidays at the time) give or take a week. He had told me of a guy who went back to work the following morning hahahahahaha ... I was the exception and had 3 weeks of pain. After the third week I was safe enough to be left alone and comfotable enough to be able to sit and drive.

Now, 3 months on everything is fine, back to normal, functioning fully and I am sssssoooooooooo glad that I eventually had something done about the wee problem hahaha.



Jeez ... this is a really long post and I expect you are all asleep by this time or thinking 'what a wuss he don't know what pain is'. hahahaha Believe me ... I don't ever want to experience pain like I have done with this.