A bit damp!

There was I, fast asleep in dream land, snuggled into my duvet when I woke suddenly at 3.28am to the sound of rushing water! I jumped out of bed and looked out of the window but nothing .... and as I slowly came to my senses I realised that the sound was coming from the bathroom!

Panic mode .... ran to the bathroom to hear a gushing water noise coming from the toilet cistern. I gingerly lifted the cistern lid to see what was happening ... and got a face full of water - that certainly woke me up!

The lid was quickly replaced as I thought about my next move - I'm a teacher FFS not a bloody plumber and I'm a Scotsman and I aint paying for a plumber at this time of the morning!

Where do I turn off the water to the cistern????? In my 10 years in this place I have never needed to do this and I vaguely remember the last owners telling me something about the stopcock but I didn't pay much attention - man was I regretting that now - the noise of the water was getting louder and I could hear it hitting off the lid now.

Now .. to let you know .... everthing in my bathroom is tiled - floor to ceiling and all the pipes etc are hidden. Well I searched for my claw hammer and started to carefully (PMSL) remove tiles from behind the toilet. OOPS ... I realised that I was searching on the wrong side of the toilet for the water stopcock after smashing 5 tiles. 8 smashed tiles later and I had the water turned off and I crawled back to bed .... just a little damp from the experience.

Emptied the cistern this morning and got my novice plumbers head on to have a look and see what was wrong ... in my professional opinion of course! Took the workings apart and found a jelly like orange circle which must have been a washer at some time in the distant past. I am now off B&Q to see if I can get another and I will hopefully remember how it all fits back together!

What a day :o)

I was picked up by 3 friends at 11.30am and off we set for Glasgow! We were on a mission to "pop" my friend Karen's Ikea cherry. Unbelievably she had never set foot in an Ikea store. Mission accepted ... and off we set.

Travelling towards Glasgow we were met with a sea of red brake lights on the dual carriageway ahead. I had the bright idea of taking the slip road to our left and bypassing the trouble on the road. That would have been a great idea had I not suddenly realised that the slip road was not the one I thought it was .... and so began the magical mystery tour!

We did arrive at Braehead in Glasgow .... only an hour behind schedule .. but safe and sound ... although the driver was a little frazzled by this point.

We went straight for the food hall in Braehead Shopping Centre. For those not in the know ... Braehead is a huge shopping mall filled with stores of all description ... here's a wee piccy to let you see what I mean ...



After lunch and a couple of hours shopping we set off for the big blue store .. Ikea. We walked round the place for quite some time. I am a big kid in these places and I have to "test" al of the chairs, beanbags, sofas and beds for comfort. This done and our purchases paid for it was back to the car. Parking in the first spotted space when we arrived seemed like a good idea in the sun. Now in the rain and having to walk halfway to Stirling (a slight exaggeration) to find the space didn't bring the same thoughts to my mind.

Tam (the driver for this mission) decided that he wouldn't ask for directions and he took us home! Well I say home .... but via the whole of the centre of Glasgow, the Gorbals etc etc .. you name it ... we were passed or through it. It did give us the chance to see parts of the city we hadn't seen before.

I thought we needed a wee break and refreshment so I phoned ahead to my favourite Italian restaurant and booked us in for 7.30pm. Now you can tell from this time check that we had been on the go for quite some time!

Meal finished, Karen's Ikea cherry had, smiles and laughter all the way .... what a way to spend a relaxing Sunday PMSL

Melting into a puddle of stress .....

Hi all ....

As the holidays loom even closer and the teachers and pupils are winding down .... my work load seems to be winding UP! All of the end of year paperwork, forms, audits, plans etc etc etc ..... and to top it all off my boss is away all week leaving the work to land on my office desk!

Teachers and pupils are reaching the end of their tether a little quicker than earlier in the year ... but mind you .. after teaching 30 kids ALL year or being stuck in a class with the same teacher all year .. I can't blame some of them!

The complaints that get brought to me are classic ... you can tell people need their holidays ...."Someone is leaving the teaspoons unwashed in the sink" cried one teacher throwing her hands up in despair .... "GET A LIFE" was the thought that came into my head .... "Oh dear .. let me speak to everyone" were the actual words to come out of my mouth!

It is a happy and sad time of year in school. The oldest kids are leaving to go to secondary school - some will NOT be missed .. others (most of whom spend a large portion of their time being sent to my office) WILL be missed, even though they don't believe me. Spending a huge amount of my time talking to and calming down some very angry, disaffected and deeply troubled kids gives me a great insight into their chaotic lives - some of these guys have gone through more in their 12 years of life than I have in my 33. It brings a tear to a hardened heart ... but I make time for everyone of them to show that they CAN rely on someone who isn't going to let them down. Some of the hardest and most troubled kids come to speak to me and safely inside my office (where their playground status doesn't matter) burst into tears and pour their hearts out. When people say teachers have an easy life of 9am - 3pm it makes my blood boil! I find it really hard to switch off from some of the heart breaking life stories that some of these inner city school kids have.

BUT ... it is also a time of celebration and welcoming in the new nursery kids and primary 1 kids. They are full of energy and enthusiasm and lighten my mood every time I go to their classrooms to visit. A chorus of "Good morning Mr ......" welcomes me all around the school ... and yes ... said in that great melodic way that kids in school have.

You can probably tell that I love my job ... a lot .... I wouldn't change it for the world! Some folks think I am totally mad but when you work with kids and have a chance to make a difference and shape the future ... no job could be better. The kids in my school today are going to be the decision makers in 20 years time and they need all the encouragement, love, care and attention that can be lavished upon them. Yes my school is in a fairly deprived area, families with little money and kids eating unhealthy food ... and for some of them they don't even have a clue who their real mum or dad is .... but why should that disadvantage them?

Jeezo ... this has turned out to be a bit of a right 'humdinger' of a post. I lost the thread as you can probably tell ... but .. get me going on a subject I am passionate about and I'll rant for ages!

God bless all the great kids leaving the school for secondary and beyond this Wednesday .. I'll be thinking of you all and watching your progress. One of you has to become famous and when it happens ....just remember your favourite depute head :o)

Love you all ... best wishes ..X

Big Brother

I was getting a bit bored with the house of women and then Ziggy was put into the house and I was still bored with a house full of women! Now BB has put 2 'men' into the house to join Zippy erm .. Ziggy soz!

Gerry and Seany entered the BB house on Friday evening hosted by the the gorgeous Davina. From the moment I clapped eyes upon the troll like features of Mick Hucknalls love child, more commonly known as Seany, I knew my time watching the series was in jeopardy.

Here .. have a look and see what you think .......


This guy has bugged the t*ts off me from the minute he walked in. He even annoyed 60 year old Lesley so much that she walked - nasty troll! LOL

Sorry BB but you should have left the whole BB thing alone for a few years. My own personal thoughts are that series 1, 2 and 3 were by far the best. After that BB started to interfere too much and the whole concept has been ruined! boo hoo

If it were not for watching the gorgeous love goddess that is Davina ... dunno if I could bear it all summer ...

The Holidays are Coming

Well .... 17 days and the long awaited summer holidays will be here. 12 noon on Wednesday 27th, the final school bell rings, mass exodus of pupils and the staff are off to the pub for a lunch and drink to celebrate the fact that we have survived another year of the little darlings trying every trick in the book to get us to crack!

6 weeks of bliss!! Well, I say 6 weeks, but I usually spend the first week of the holidays in the bloody school getting sorted and clearing the desk and in tray and then come back during the last week to get ready and prepared for the start of the new term - so not really 6 weeks of holidays I suppose - well that's how I qualify it to friends and family anyways!! LOL

Not sure what I am going to do this year. I want to get myself down to Wales and visit my cousin Elly and her gorgeous family and out to Paris to see my cousin and her beautiful baby daughter cause I haven't seen her in ages.

My close friend Cazza and her man Drew have a dive school in Cyprus and I really want to get out there and do my open water PADI course too. My last email from Cazza was asking when I am coming out to see her - perhaps this is the perfect opportunity. She and Drew have the Turtle Bay Divers school in a place called Kyrenia in Northern Cyprus. They are based at the Hotel Sempati, a local family run business offering price cut deals for holiday makers.


I have always wanted to go diving in the warm waters seeing all the gorgeous sealife and Cazza was telling me that last year that they were seeing turtles on every one of her dives in the warm seas - I would be so gobsmacked that I'd probably be forgetting to breath and end up being rescued PMSL.

I also have the dreaded decorating to be completed. After a few weeks of painting or attempting to paint I have decided that I don't like it and the whole lot needs to come off and I need to start again! I am a bit fussy when it comes to decorating ha ha ha. I have decided that a complete overhaul with new carpets, furnature etc is needed - now considering that painting alone took 2 weeks .... this will probably be completed in June 2010 :o) I also want a wooden floor layed in the hallway, new tiled floor for the kitchen and my bathroom floor needs to be re-grouted. I think I should bite the bullet and get in the professionals.

Who said that summer holidays were relaxing? HUH!!!

A holiday doesn't really seem right unless I have been to an airport and off somewhere on a plane to the heat and sun. For a wee white Scottish lad, I really like the sun and heat and a sandy beach! None of this pebble cr*p - must be sand and even better if lined with palm trees and turquoise seas :o) not that I am asking for much.

It is a bit tricky though. The friends I go on holidays with don't have the luxury of 6 weeks holidays and the ability to have a case packed and head off whenever, and this is a pain at times. I aint the type of person to jet off for 2 weeks in Barbados on my own - wee jimmy nae pals - I'd rather have the company of mates and have a laugh for a fortnight. SO .... not really sure what I am going to do hahaha .. I could have said that half an hour ago and saved all this typing and your reading :-)

Okay ... enough for now but I am sure I will be back today ... I have a Big Brother rant to get out ... but I'll save it for now

The Big Yin

The great Billy Connolly!

I love this guy - his observational humour is second to none. The way he can turn anything into a belly full of laughs is 'pure dead brilliant so it is!' A Glasgow born, banjo playing, mad hairy man who swears like a trooper.

For those in foreign shores (a few miles south of the River Clyde) this clip may need subtitled!



Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the F*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". F*cking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the F*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the F*cking floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?. Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the F*ck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever F*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you F*cking McTosser.


Here he is getting a little 'high brow' and chatting about opera ....



I am gonna leave you with this wee funny .......

Gingers for Justice

This is for you marmite babes ..... "ya failed to mention how many jocks have ginger hair LMFAO" huh .. take this .....



ha ha ha - another of my Catherine Tate favourites :o)

PS - I aint a ginger