.... but these are bloody funny ...
SMART ALEC ANSWER 6
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row. 'What are my choices?' the man asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART ALEC ANSWER 5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'
SMART ALEC ANSWER 4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a passing assistant, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?' The assistant replied, 'I'm afraid not, they're dead.'
SMART ALEC ANSWER 3
The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the bobby said. The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ALEC ANSWER 2
A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read ' Low Bridge Ahead.' Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck
under it.. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver, 'Got stuck, eh?' The lorry driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!'
SMART ALEC ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007
A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I suppose you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'
Thank you to David for emailing this ... fitted my sense of humour perfectly!
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8 comments:
these were good! thanks for the laugh!
:) ya a right proper daft sod sometimes lol
X
i guess being a smart arse is better than being a dumb arse, right? lol
ok, get your smartarse back here.......
AND how is your dad?
x
HGF .... thanks for popping by again xxx Glad they made ya laugh :o)
Marmie - I am an absolute nut case babe ... and a right smartarse! lol xxx My Dad ain't too good at the moment but he's getting there. We are all waiting for the date of his big op in Novemeber xxxxx thanks for asking babes .... much appreciated!
Ciara - I ain't too sure ... I've been called both hahahaha .... I know it is hard to believe ... but I have lmao xxxxx
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His penchant for sweets had made him a fat guywithout any friends. A quick trip toRhamnus and my schedules should only be a day or so out.
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My dream was dashed into glass shards when Melvin suddenly bit downhard into my nipples. I dont see my wife or her girlfriend anywhere but Iknow they are her cause their car is in front.
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