stolen from someone ... laughed like feck .. so thought I'd share
Imagine if major brands produced condoms and kept their slogan....
Sainsbury condoms - making life taste better
Tesco Condoms - every little helps
Nike Condoms - Just do it
Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life
KFC Condoms - Finger Licking good
Minstrels Condoms - melt in your mouth, not in your hand
Safeway Condoms - Lightening the load
Coca Cola Condoms - The real thing
Ever Ready Condoms - keep going and going
Pringles Condoms - once you pop, you can't stop
Burger King Condoms - Home of the Whopper
Good year Condoms - "for a longer ride, go wide"
Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the pain?
Flash Condoms - Just sit back, relax and let flash do all the hard work
Halfords Condoms - we go the extra mile
Royal Mail Condoms - I saw this and thought of you
Andrex Condoms - Soft, strong and very very long
Renault Condoms - size really does matter!
Domestos Condoms - gets right in the rim
Heineken Condoms -reaches parts that other condoms just cannot reach
Carlsberg Condoms - probably the best condom in the world
Pepperami Condoms - its a bit of an animal
Polo Condoms - the condom with the hole!! (VERY poor seller !!)
McDonalds Condoms - I'm Lovin' It
Saturday 22 September 2007
Days gone by ....
I was having a wee moment to myself (ooer missus) and got thinking to the olde sweeties that I used to love.
I remember taking my karate grading with another lad from the club when I must have been about 10 yrs old. I was kicking and punching away whenever they shouted a command and he was disqualified for chewing on one of these ......
I loved the thick chewy toffee/caramel stuff .... a great one for pulling out your teeth hahaha.... just not for eating during a grading exam pmsl ... poor chap :o)
Spangles were one of my favourites too until a fateful day ... when I returned from karate training (god ... there must be a link between karate and sweeties) .. and I was sucking on a spangle, when I choked and half swallowed one of the boiled sweets. I couldn't breathe, my dad lifted me upside-down and was slapping my back and my poor mum was frantic .... out popped the little b*gger and I didn't eat another one of these for a long time ... shame really, cause I really liked them!
These to were always in my "mix-up" bag from the sweetie shop ...
Good old flying saucers - kind of rice paper shapes filled with really sour sherbet ... and ....
strawberry mojo's! ... Great wee strawberry flavoured chews. There were many flavours but, strawberry were the best!
Can't forget these wee beauties .... always made your tongue black too .... infact ... the wee sweet shop used to be called "The Black Jack" if my memory serves me correctly lol
The Cabana bar was the top of the list - the dogs b*llocks! It was a chocolate bar filled with coconut and cherries with a thin layer of caramel under the chocolate coating. I had died and gone to heaven when I found these - well ... a little dramatic there, but you get my drift!
As a wee treat ...
The Caramac was a bit too sickly for me .... and god knows I have a sweet tooth! This one was only as a rare treat ... too many and you felt really sick! hahahaha
I loved eating sweeties and chocolates and you'd think I would be a 10 tonne lard-ass ... but NO ... thankfully I was blessed with a high metabolism and can basically eat what the feck I want with little consequence! Phew ... cause I couldn't give up my crisps, biscuits and Magnum ice-cream bars :o) pmsl
OOOOhhh ... just thought of another wee treat ...
Sherbet dip dabs .... I used to eat the lollipop and dip in my fingers :o) hahaha
Any other favourites?????
I remember taking my karate grading with another lad from the club when I must have been about 10 yrs old. I was kicking and punching away whenever they shouted a command and he was disqualified for chewing on one of these ......
I loved the thick chewy toffee/caramel stuff .... a great one for pulling out your teeth hahaha.... just not for eating during a grading exam pmsl ... poor chap :o)
Spangles were one of my favourites too until a fateful day ... when I returned from karate training (god ... there must be a link between karate and sweeties) .. and I was sucking on a spangle, when I choked and half swallowed one of the boiled sweets. I couldn't breathe, my dad lifted me upside-down and was slapping my back and my poor mum was frantic .... out popped the little b*gger and I didn't eat another one of these for a long time ... shame really, cause I really liked them!
These to were always in my "mix-up" bag from the sweetie shop ...
Good old flying saucers - kind of rice paper shapes filled with really sour sherbet ... and ....
strawberry mojo's! ... Great wee strawberry flavoured chews. There were many flavours but, strawberry were the best!
Can't forget these wee beauties .... always made your tongue black too .... infact ... the wee sweet shop used to be called "The Black Jack" if my memory serves me correctly lol
The Cabana bar was the top of the list - the dogs b*llocks! It was a chocolate bar filled with coconut and cherries with a thin layer of caramel under the chocolate coating. I had died and gone to heaven when I found these - well ... a little dramatic there, but you get my drift!
As a wee treat ...
The Caramac was a bit too sickly for me .... and god knows I have a sweet tooth! This one was only as a rare treat ... too many and you felt really sick! hahahaha
I loved eating sweeties and chocolates and you'd think I would be a 10 tonne lard-ass ... but NO ... thankfully I was blessed with a high metabolism and can basically eat what the feck I want with little consequence! Phew ... cause I couldn't give up my crisps, biscuits and Magnum ice-cream bars :o) pmsl
OOOOhhh ... just thought of another wee treat ...
Sherbet dip dabs .... I used to eat the lollipop and dip in my fingers :o) hahaha
Any other favourites?????
Which Superhero are you?
Saw this and decided that with my superhero talents (yes .... some are hidden lol), I would see who I am most 'like' pmsl
Your results:
You are Superman
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz
I am a little concerned that I am 35% like Wonder Woman pmsl
Your results:
You are Superman
| You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.  |
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz
I am a little concerned that I am 35% like Wonder Woman pmsl
Sunday 16 September 2007
Blogger Awards
I am going to bestow this Blogger Award to the wonderful and gorgeous Marmy and Ciara. They both deserve a wee recognition from li'l old me for keeping me entertained and for their fabulous posts on the blog (that was blog, not bog!)
Here's to you both!
Many thanks to Peter Ford for the award ... well, you didn't think I could make this on my own did ya? pmsl
Here's to you both!
Many thanks to Peter Ford for the award ... well, you didn't think I could make this on my own did ya? pmsl
no hotel and no expenses = bloody cheek!
I am off on my yearly crusade to 'the big smoke' - GLASGOW - on Wednesday of this week to the annual SETT exhibition and conference at the SECC. (boring teacher thing hahaha)
I have been going for the last goodness knows how many years and have usually been put up in a nice hotel in the city, had expenses paid and had a lovely evening meal (and drinks) at the Moat House. This year however, no such luxuries!!
I have booked myself into a few seminars and am expected to attend one which STARTS at 6.00pm!!! Well, with no slap up meal and drinks and with no hotel to rest my weary head, I think I may have to miss that seminar and be heading into town or heading home along the motorway.
Previous years have found myself and colleagues thoroughly enjoying the luxuries of being a "Masterclass" member and of being a "GLOW Mentor" - and rolling out of the Moat House at midnight, being taxi driven back to the hotel and then indulging in a few more liquid refreshments. Luckily I don't do breakfasts as I was never presentable at that ungodly hour!
So, Wednesday of this week I shall be fighting my way through the Glasgow traffic and heading for the Armadillo and after a good few hours of listening, walking and purchasing within the walls of the SECC, I may just be tempted into town before heading back throught the nose-to-tail traffic.
Why do I do it every year?
I have been going for the last goodness knows how many years and have usually been put up in a nice hotel in the city, had expenses paid and had a lovely evening meal (and drinks) at the Moat House. This year however, no such luxuries!!
I have booked myself into a few seminars and am expected to attend one which STARTS at 6.00pm!!! Well, with no slap up meal and drinks and with no hotel to rest my weary head, I think I may have to miss that seminar and be heading into town or heading home along the motorway.
Previous years have found myself and colleagues thoroughly enjoying the luxuries of being a "Masterclass" member and of being a "GLOW Mentor" - and rolling out of the Moat House at midnight, being taxi driven back to the hotel and then indulging in a few more liquid refreshments. Luckily I don't do breakfasts as I was never presentable at that ungodly hour!
So, Wednesday of this week I shall be fighting my way through the Glasgow traffic and heading for the Armadillo and after a good few hours of listening, walking and purchasing within the walls of the SECC, I may just be tempted into town before heading back throught the nose-to-tail traffic.
Why do I do it every year?
Sunday 9 September 2007
Cartoon of the Week .....
I am going to post a wee funny each week .... this one made me laugh ....
and as it's the first of the Cartoon of the Week, here's another ..
and as it's the first of the Cartoon of the Week, here's another ..
a handful of my ripe juicy plums...
Well, after the slagging of my innocent previous title, I thought this would make a good follow-up! ... for you luck readers, I may even post a piccy of my ripe, juicy plums at the end of this post .......
As I have been neglecting the blog, I thought I would give a wee update ...
I have had a sh*tty couple of weeks. I have allowed myself to get bogged down in internal politics and more often then not, I am the one left to take the flak from the fall outs. This, coupled with the fact that I have a couple of issues that I don't want to deal with and my dad waiting for surgery ... well, forgive me as I am on a bit of a slippery slide downwards at the moment.
I have 2 weeks of holidays to look forward to in 3 weeks time and I think I will start to look for a wee getaway to sunnier climates to recharge the batteries. I have no idea where I want to go or what I want to be doing when I get there. Perhaps a beach holiday to relax rather than a more active holiday - who knows? My wee bro and his wife are off to Sicily next weekend ... that sounds pretty good to me!!
I went to my folks place on Friday after work and was having a catch-up chat with my dad. He had been to see his surgeon on Friday afternoon and has been told that he is scheduled for his long awaited operation in November. It is going to be a huge operation with 3 surgeons working on him. He has the aneurysm by his heart, the tear in his bowel, the stoma reversal and the large open wound to clear and close .... phew!
Anyway ... my plums!!! as it was a gorgeous day I went into the garden with him for a seat in the sun and to wait for my mum to get in from her work. As I was looking round the garden I noticed how laden the plum tree was with fruit - what a bloody cheek - he had been keeping that a secret. I love plums, cherries and grapes, all of which he grows in the garden. The grapes were not good this year, the cherries were eaten by the birds before I could get to them but the plums ... well ..... loads of the ripe juicy beggars ... just waiting for me to come along and pick them!
I came away having more than a good handful of juicy plums, most of which I have now scoffed and the remainder sitting in the fruit bowl, looking very inviting :o) lol
Here's a wee piccy of my plums ...
for those who are disappointed and were expecting something else - shame on you!!! Get your filthy mind out of the gutter!!! lmao ... If you want to see my other ripe and juicy plums ... let me know ;o) ha ha ha
As I have been neglecting the blog, I thought I would give a wee update ...
I have had a sh*tty couple of weeks. I have allowed myself to get bogged down in internal politics and more often then not, I am the one left to take the flak from the fall outs. This, coupled with the fact that I have a couple of issues that I don't want to deal with and my dad waiting for surgery ... well, forgive me as I am on a bit of a slippery slide downwards at the moment.
I have 2 weeks of holidays to look forward to in 3 weeks time and I think I will start to look for a wee getaway to sunnier climates to recharge the batteries. I have no idea where I want to go or what I want to be doing when I get there. Perhaps a beach holiday to relax rather than a more active holiday - who knows? My wee bro and his wife are off to Sicily next weekend ... that sounds pretty good to me!!
I went to my folks place on Friday after work and was having a catch-up chat with my dad. He had been to see his surgeon on Friday afternoon and has been told that he is scheduled for his long awaited operation in November. It is going to be a huge operation with 3 surgeons working on him. He has the aneurysm by his heart, the tear in his bowel, the stoma reversal and the large open wound to clear and close .... phew!
Anyway ... my plums!!! as it was a gorgeous day I went into the garden with him for a seat in the sun and to wait for my mum to get in from her work. As I was looking round the garden I noticed how laden the plum tree was with fruit - what a bloody cheek - he had been keeping that a secret. I love plums, cherries and grapes, all of which he grows in the garden. The grapes were not good this year, the cherries were eaten by the birds before I could get to them but the plums ... well ..... loads of the ripe juicy beggars ... just waiting for me to come along and pick them!
I came away having more than a good handful of juicy plums, most of which I have now scoffed and the remainder sitting in the fruit bowl, looking very inviting :o) lol
Here's a wee piccy of my plums ...
for those who are disappointed and were expecting something else - shame on you!!! Get your filthy mind out of the gutter!!! lmao ... If you want to see my other ripe and juicy plums ... let me know ;o) ha ha ha
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